A blog for people who seek alternative approaches to kiruv and the baal teshuvah experience.
Sunday, April 28, 2024
Friday, April 5, 2024
Baba Matzia 85
Yehuda HaNasi was punished with intestinal problems for saying "Go for this you were created," to a terrified calf that was on the way to the slaughter house. He was cured only after he later instructed a maidservant to spare a weasel that she was chasing from the house, saying "His compassion is on all His works."
Believe it or not this is part of Judaism. I suspect that the Litvish world picked up some of the cruelty of Eastern Europe and, in their way, attempted to convert it to religious philosophy. And so they have made a mantra of pain, that everything is supposed to be painful. When you go to these guys for aitzah, they tell you to take the most painful course of action. Of course, they don't do that to themselves. Hypocrisy they didn't get from Eastern Europe. That's just yetzer hara.
The Baal Shem Tov came long to return us to the ways of old, a Judaism that is suffused with mercy and love. So of course, some Litvacks went to war against this as they learned from the Russians a tendency toward combativeness and arrogance.
Tuesday, April 2, 2024
narcissisim
word salad, not answering a question directly, not being able to explain the why of any behaviornot taking responsibility for misbehavior, lacking empathy -- showing only a drop of empathy that is dropped whenever the pressure is on
Machon Shlomo and narcissistic supply
One of the many diabolical practices of Machon Shlomo is to seek out guys from elite schools but not to provide them with a program that is fitting for people of relatively higher academic intelligence or ambition. Quite to the contrary, MS has a program so minimal that you can't even call it a program. It's two classes, but not even that. It's a Gemara shiur that was delivered for years without any introduction or background. If you have the kind of mind that says, hey, who wrote this book? Why is its style so odd? Why is it part Aramaic, part Hebrew? From where does it get its authority? Well, they won't help you with that. They just open to page 2 and start reading. The other so-called class was a recitation of the Chumash, ie the Chumash was read to you. That's it. Nothing else. And no library, no guest speakers, no visits to anywhere or anyone in Israel, and lots of propagandizing about how Machon Shlomo was the only place in the world with truth.
For, people who are somewhat more intelligent this is devastating. An inquisitive mind can implode in such an environment, and people did implode. Of course, when they did, it's because "they had problems."
So why did the two guys who ran the place seek out such students? And the answer is status. They were using them to build a reputation. In the world of narcissism, this is called narcissistic supply. Read up on the topic and learn all about Machon Shlomo.
Thursday, March 28, 2024
Tuesday, March 26, 2024
Monday, March 25, 2024
Three ingrates
Three are ingrates: The earth, the woman, and the soul. The earth, as it is stated: “The earth is not sated with water” (Proverbs 30:16). The woman, from where is it derived? “[So is the way of an adulterous woman:] She eats, and wipes her mouth, and says: I did not do wrong” (Proverbs 30:20). The soul, from where is it derived? “But his soul is also not filled” (Ecclesiastes 6:7). Three take abundantly and give abundantly: the earth, the sea, and the government.
Rabbi Yehoshua of Sikhnin said in the name of Rabbi Levi: “Soul” is written here six times corresponding to the six days of Creation. The Holy One blessed be He said to the soul: ‘Everything that I created during the six days of Creation, I created only for your sake, and you emerge and sin? “When a person will sin.”’
Sunday, March 24, 2024
Wednesday, March 20, 2024
Understanding Cults: The Basics Steven A Hassan PhD Freedom of Mind
To help others, it is important to understand mind control and undue influence.
KEY POINTS
- No one joins a cult; they are recruited by systematic social influence processes.
- Destructive individuals and cults use deception and undue influence to make people dependent and obedient.
- Not all influence is bad. There is a difference between due and undue influence.
- Cult leaders are typically malignant narcissists and want people who will be obedient to them.
Ever had an experience with a cult or controlling relationship? Have a friend or family member caught up in a black-and-white, all-or-nothing conspiracy cult, multi-level marketing, religious or political group?
To help them or yourself, you need to learn how the mind works and how people can be programmed into a destructive authoritarian cult. Not all are destructive, some are benign. There are specific strategies, patterns, and behaviors used by cultic groups to recruit new members and manipulate and control them.
continue
Monday, March 18, 2024
equivalent to all the other mitzvos
וְאָמַר רַב אַסִּי שְׁקוּלָה צְדָקָה כְּנֶגֶד כׇּל הַמִּצְוֹת שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר וְהֶעֱמַדְנוּ עָלֵינוּ מִצְוֹת וְגוֹ׳ מִצְוָה אֵין כְּתִיב כָּאן אֶלָּא מִצְוֹת
And Rav Asi says: tzedakah is equivalent to all the other mitzvos combined, as it is stated in that verse: “We also established mitzvos upon ourselves.” A mitzva is not written here but rather mitzvos. (Baba Basra 9a)
Tuesday, March 12, 2024
The Schar Syllogism
The Schar Syllogism
Schar is divine reward. According to the Oxford
dictionary, a syllogism is “an instance of a form of reasoning in which a
conclusion is drawn (whether validly or not) from two given or assumed
propositions (premises), each of which shares a term with the conclusion, and
shares a common or middle term not present in the conclusion (e.g., all dogs
are animals; all animals have four legs; therefore all dogs have four legs
).”
The Jewish world has syllogisms of its own,
including invalid ones. One of the latter goes like this: This purpose of
this fleeting world is only to earn some unspecified reward in the world of
eternal bliss via collection of mitzvah points. Gemara study, specifically contemporary pilpul, or Brisker lomdus
on yeshivishe mesechtas, produces more mitzvah points than all your
mitzvos combined, so we should spend all our time, if possible, on that.
One result of this formula is that mitzvos get pushed aside
as do one’s interests and talents. Those don’t produce the greatest schar,
so why waste time on them? But that contradicts Koheles which tells us
that “The end of the matter is to fear Hashem and keep His commandments. That
is the purpose of man.”[1]
Why would Koheles contradict the schar
syllogism if the latter is Torah truth? After all, you hear it all the time so
it must be true. That’s because the schar syllogism is a fallacy
and a perversion of basic Torah principles. Maimonides lists knowledge of God
first in his list of mitzvos[2]
and the first of his Thirteen Principles. As Rabbi Assaf Bednarsh writes,
“Rambam, however, views knowledge of God as a ‘mitzvah’ itself, as an end and
not a means, as an ennobling spiritual experience and a connection to the
Divine. It is no wonder, then, that Rambam counts the first words of God’s
revelation not only as the first of his thirteen principles, but as the first
and most glorious of the 613 mitzvot of the Torah.”[3]
We see this in the posuk from Koheles
because, as Rabbi Avigdor Miller explains, fear of God means awareness of God.
The awareness of Hakodosh Baruch
Hu, to be aware of God, is the prime purpose of our existence in life. We are
in this world chiefly to attain a clarity of perception of Hakodosh Baruch Hu. Reishis
chochmah yiras Hashem. The highest of all wisdom is to be aware of Hashem.
We call it yiras Hashem, but that’s a form of awareness of Hashem. [4]
Torah study is a fundamental tool for
acquiring knowledge of God for if the goal is knowledge, study will play a
major role in it. That’s obvious. But you need to perform mitzvos too for our
observance of them helps us attain the humility to acquire knowledge, and
observance of mitzvos brings knowledge into our ruach and neshamah
so that we enrich our daas, or experiential knowledge. True knowledge
consists of chochmah, binah, and daas. You see this again in Koheles,
as we are told to fear God (have awareness of Him) and keep His commandments.
They go together. Full knowledge of God requires observance of commandments. As
Rabbi Chaim Navon writes, “the Rambam maintains that perfection of the soul
cannot be achieved without perfection of the body.”[7] So, we can’t spend all our time on pilpul.
However, the schar syllogism encourages us to do exactly that.
Additionally, knowledge of God requires study
of nature. As Maimonides wrote in the Mishneh Torah:
And what is
the way that will lead to the love of Him and the fear of Him? When a person
contemplates His great and wondrous works and creatures and from them obtains a
glimpse of His wisdom, which is incomparable and infinite, he will straightway
love Him, praise Him, glorify Him, and long with an exceeding longing to know
His great name; even as David said, ‘My soul thirsts for God, for the living
God’ (Psalm 42:3).
And when he
ponders these matters, he will recoil frightened, and realize that he is a
small creature, lowly and obscure, endowed with slight and slender
intelligence, standing in the presence of Him who is perfect in knowledge. And
so David said: ‘When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers–what is
man that You are mindful of him?’ (Psalm 8:4-5).[8]
That’s not Brisker lomdus.
You also are
not going to acquire knowledge of God by squashing your talents after entering
a profession only based on how lucrative it may be, being miserable after
marrying person only for the support she’ll provide for Torah study or the
Torah that he will study, feeling uninspired by living in a place whose only
merit is that it is near a yeshiva, wallowing in the cynical outlook that
“nothing else matters” but the daf, or living in ignorance about the
world because all knowledge outside of the daf is branded flippantly as
“nonsense.” Your talents engage you in the experience of God. If you operate
from where you are weak, you’ll develop a weak connection. Passion for living
connects you to God. Moreover, a major part of knowledge of God comes from experiencing
gratitude to Him. The word Jew comes from the name Yehuda, which is the noun
form of the verb “to thank” or “to praise.” A Jew gives thanks to God. You
won’t do that if you are miserable. And one shouldn’t make people miserable and
then make them more miserable by demanding that they pretend to be happy or
make them feel guilty for being unhappy. That’s not a realistic approach.
So, this idea
of shutting out secular studies, choosing a profession only to grab the most
money, marrying a person only so that she will help you to engage in more Brisker
lomdus -- all of that is not Maimonidean. Yet, he is the sage that Briskers
in particular look to as the ultimate authority for how to conduct oneself in
this world. (I’m not saying that Briskers proffer the syllogism, but that
it is often proffered in their name.)
There’s
another problem with the schar syllogism. The idea that Torah studying
produces the greatest schar is based on an interpretation of the
Mishnah: “Talmud Torah k’neged kulam” as Torah study produces a reward greater
than all the other mitzvos combined. (Actually, at most it would be equal to
all those others combined, not greater than them as is commonly stated.)
However, there are numerous other k’neged kulam statements of Chazal such those
concerning tzitzis,[9] bris milah,[10]
Shabbos,[11] tzedukah,[12]
and yishuv ha’aretz.[13]
All of these are described as being k’neged kulam. Even lashon hara is
described as being k’neged kulam.[14]
So obviously, you can’t take the phrase literally because each is included in
the others. Not only that but the word used is k’neged which does not
mean greater than and doesn’t even mean equal to. It means connected to,
against, or adjacent to as in eizer k’negdo (helpmate).[15]
It is possible that the phrase means that the mitzvah is adjacent to all the
others, ie. it is connected to them. For example, tzitzis remind us of all the
other mitzvos. Torah study brings us to do all the mitzvos. It is k’neged
them. Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik was asked by a student, “What do we mean by תלמוד תורה כנגד כולם?” He answered, “It is not that this
mitzvah is equal to all the mitzvos, but rather that it brings the person to do
all the other mitzvos. The whole purpose of the limud is that it comes
to asiah and asiah is the ikur.”[16]
His words likely are based on the Mishnah, “Study is not the most important
thing, but actions (are).”[17]
Meanwhile, Rabbi Soloveitchik was a once-in-a-generation scholar. Rabbi
Elchonon Wasserman said about him, “I was there in Boston and I never saw
someone eat, sleep, and dream Torah as he did.”[18]
Additionally, Brisker
lomdus is only one type of study of the Gemara, a recently invented type.
It’s a wonderful discipline; although it faced criticism when it was originally
introduced in the 19th century. Traditional Talmud study was more
concerned with halacha and understandings within the context of the page and
less concerned with the abstract categories across Shas that are the
hallmark of Brisker lomdus. I am not disparaging this form of Torah
study but rather the use of it as a wrecking ball to smash other forms of Avodas
Hashem.
Even study of Gemara is only one type of
study. The Gemara itself tells the story of the sages Levi and Shimon, the son
of Rebbi, who were learning the meaning of certain verses of Tanach from Rebbi.
After they were done, Levi wanted to study Mishlei and Shimon wanted to study
Psalms. Levi was overruled, and they studied Tehillim. When they reached the
verse, “But his desire is in the Torah of G-d,” Rebbe said, “A person learns
Torah only from a place that his heart desires.” Upon hearing this, Levi said,
“Rebbi, with this teaching you have permitted me to stand up (from studying
Psalms, and to learn Proverbs instead, as I desire).”[19]
The Ramchal
says you need kabbalah to teach about God:
The need for
this wisdom is very great. First of all, we have an obligation to know it since
it is a mitzva as it states (Devarim 4:39) “You should know this day and place
it in your heart that the L-rd is G-d in Heaven above and the earth below –
there is no other.” The verse says that it is not enough to have faith, but we
are obligated also to have knowledge about G-d to the degree that is placed on
the heart. We are obligated to know “the L-rd is G-d in the Heavens above and
on the earth below – there is no other.”
....We need to
find a way of achieving this knowledge. The sole answer is that it is only
obtained by this true wisdom which reveals and teaches the true nature of
Providence and everything which is connected to it. It teaches the true nature
of G-d’s unity from all aspects that are possible to comprehend. This is the
essence of kabbalah to teach the true meaning of G-d’s unity and to inform that
everything that was and will be is supervised by Him to the smallest detail. It
teaches the nature of G-d’s conduct and His deeds from the beginning of
creation to the end of the world.[20]
The schar syllogism reduces life to a
mathematical formula that works against the earning of Olam Haba because
it pushes away mitzvos, talents, interests, happiness, and the many avenues of
study -- all of which are necessary for gaining knowledge of God which is a
prime purpose of this life.
It is no
coincidence that the schar syllogism suits those who try to extract
money from baalei batim who are told that they can get a share in lomdus
by giving money to those who engage in it. Maimonides said that taking money
for Torah study extinguishes the light of faith from the world. “Anyone who
believes in his heart that one ought occupy oneself with Torah and not work,
but support oneself with charity, behold, this one desecrates the Divine name,
dishonors the Torah, extinguishes the light of faith, brings evil to oneself
and forfeits life in the world to come, because it is forbidden to benefit from
the words of Torah in this world.”[21]
We can see how because an over-the-top emphasis on one type of Torah study at
all costs at the expense of all other parts of
Jewish life pulls people away from mitzvos and other activities all of
which generate knowledge of God and faith, which are the most essential mitzvos
and which bring a person to Olam Haba.
[1]
Koheles 12:13
[2] Sefer Hamitvos 1.
[3] Rabbi Assaf Bednarsh, “Is
Belief in God a Miztvah? Maimonides on the First Commandment,” Orthodox Union,
Torah Initiatives,
https://www.ou.org/chag/files/2020/05/R-Bednarsh-article.pdf.
[4]
Rabbi Avigdor Miller, Tape, 047- Reliance on Hashem, 8:12
[5] Maimonides, Hilchos Teshuva
8:2. Translation from Asher Buchman, “Israel’s
Inheritance: Olam Haba,” Hakirah 10, 2010.
[6]
Rambam, Morech Nevuchim 21. See Rav Chaim Navon, “Intro to the Guide of
the Perplexed-Lesson 21: The Purpose of the Torah and the Reasons for the
Mitzvot, Etzion.org, https://www.etzion.org.il/en/ philosophy /great-
thinkers/rambam/purpose-torah-and-reasons-mitzvot. Nevertheless, Olam Haba is
not just for philosophers. As Asher Buchman writes, “Based on this statement
and other statements in the Moreh and Perush HaMishnah that equate Olam haba
with attained knowledge, some claim that Rambam would deprive all but the
greatest philosophers of the World to Come. Such a conclusion, however, would
render meaningless the principle that all of Israel has a portion in the World
to Come. Rambam’s meaning is more complex than some philosophers would have us
believe.” Asher Buchman, “Israel’s
Inheritance: Olam Haba,” Hakirah 10, 2010.
[7] Rabbi Chaim Navon, “The
Purpose of the Torah and the Reasons for the Mitzvot,”
https://etzion.org.il/en/philosophy/great-thinkers/rambam/purpose-torah-and-reasons-mitzvot
[8] Maimonides, Mishneh Torah,
Hilkhot Yesodei haTorah, 2:2.
[9]Nedarim 25a, Menachot 43b)
[10] Yerushalmi, Nedarim 12b.
[11] Yerushalmi, Berachot 9a.
[12] Yerushalmi, Pe’ah 3a.
[13] Tosefta, Avodah Zarah 5.
[14] Yerushalmi,
Peah 4a; Tosefta, Pe’ah 1:2.
[15] Genesis 2:18.
[16] David Holtzer, The Rav
Thinking Aloud, p. 69. The student paraphrased Rabbi Soloveitchik’s answer.
[17] Pirkei Avos 1:18.
[18] Henoch Cohen, “Learning with
the Rav: The Early Years in Yeshiva,” Mentor of Generations (Jersey
City: Ktav, 2008), p. 3. Edited by Zev Eleff.
[19] Avodah Zara 19a. See Rabbi
Moshe Newman, “Whatever Your Heart Desires,”
https://ohr.edu/this_week/talmud_tips/7741.
[20] Ramchal, Klali Mileches Moshe, in Eidensohn,
Daas Torah, p. 217.
[21] Maimonides, Hilchos Talmud
Torah 3:10,
Shmuel Maybruch - What Do You See In the Window? LInked post
Do you have talents waiting to be discovered?
Maybe you have notice that you have a certain skill, but have an inkling that you do not fully appreciate it?
Is it possible that you are completely unaware of some of your own capabilities and strengths?
Hashem had that concern about the Jewish people in the wilderness. As the time came for them to build the Mishkan, the people had stifled, hidden abilities. Hashem exhorted Moshe Rabbeinu to help the individuals discover these masked treasures.
What Do You See In the Window? – Rabbi Shmuel Maybruch's Blog
Cliches
Cliches are a problem in the frum world. Jargon. We relish our jargon to the point where it all becomes meaningless. Talmid chochom, gadol, bitachon. Over and over again until the words mean nothing and clowns like xxxx and xxxxx can steal the title of talmid chochom because people have no idea what is really involved. People have vague ideas of the meaning of these terms and hold them up as vague goals but have no idea how to proceed, no sense of the details or complexity involved.
Wednesday, March 6, 2024
blessings recited over Torah Sages and non-Jewish scholars.
3a. Talmud Bavli, Berachot 58a – There are different blessings recited over Torah Sages and non-Jewish scholars.
הרואה חכמי ישראל אומר ברוך שחלק מחכמתו ליראיו.
חכמי עובדי כוכבים אומר ברוך שנתן מחכמתו לבריותיו [לבשר ודם]
One who sees an outstanding scholar of Torah wisdom recites, “Blessed are You, our God, King of the universe, Who separated from His wisdom to those who fear Him.”
One who sees a scholar of worldly wisdom recites, “Blessed are You, our God, King of the universe, Who gave from His wisdom to man.”
(9) When you see an outstanding Torah scholar in Israel, you should say: Baruch ata Adonoy Elokeinu melech ha'olam shechalak meichochmaso lirei'av,9According to the poskim, you should also say Shehecheyanu if you have not seen him for thirty days. (Mishnah Berurah 225: 1)[Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe Who has apportioned of His knowledge to those who fear him]. (Because Israel is God's portion and clings to Him, the term "apportioned" is used.) When you see an outstanding scholar, renowned for secular knowledge,10Excluding gentile theologians. (Mishnah Berurah 224: 10) who is a gentile, you say: Baruch ata Adonoy Elokeinu melech ha'olam shenasan meichochmaso levasar vadam, [Who has given of his wisdom to human beings].
Monday, March 4, 2024
teacher
It is a sacred duty for a teacher who wants to succeed, to acquire two qualities. 1) He must be competent in the subject he teaches, possess pedagogical skills, and 2) he must sincerely like the pupil. Failing these preconditions, he is not likely to succeed in his task.
Akeidat Yitzchak 70:1
Saturday, March 2, 2024
Friday, March 1, 2024
abilities
When God grants you certain
abilities, He wants you to use them to the fullest. But He wants you to have
free choice; for you to choose it for yourself. So it only depends on your own
will and determination to prove to God that He was right to invest His capital –
these abilities – in you by utilizing them to guide Jewish children in the
right direction. Through this, you’ll earn your reward in this world and the
world to come.
Lubavitcher Rebbe, Sicha, March 4,
1969, Living Torah Program 1015, 2:32
Tuesday, February 20, 2024
the forced rav
I have watched many people take on a person as their personal leader, or rav, simply because the local synagogue committee appointed him to be the guy who sits in the front of the room, tell over a few brief thoughts on the parsha, and make minor decisions on shul decorum. It's the rare person we call rabbi that has any training in counseling. And it's just as rare for anybody who is called rabbi to have studied any more than a small portion of the Talmud. He could have gone to yeshiva for decades and worked only on a few chapters of a few tractates. The Talmud consists of over 5,400 pages. He might have looked superficially at 10% of it, and in many yeshivas they skip over the aggadata, the parts containing wisdom for life. Rather, they engage in abstract argumentation over the derivation of halachas, and don't even discuss practical halacha. He might have studied 15 minutes of musar a day, and he probably didn't even do that. You hear that he studied at the Mir and just assume that makes him a scholar. The MIr has 5,000 students who study by themselves with the benefit of a class a week. They sit at their schtenders and study a few pages of the Gemara on their own. How is he equipped to be in charge of your life? People assume if a Jewish man is employed as the rabbi of a shul or as a teacher in a school that he is a true talmid chochom, a student of Torah wisdom, and the typical person likewise assumes that whoever he is married to is qualified to be a rebbetzin or counselor of women. All he has to do is get people to call him rabbi or rosh yeshiva and he's got the authority. People fall to their knees when they hear those titles, but they are not necessarily deserved. Iin our generation, they do not automatically indicate qualification for mentorship or authority over your life. People just toss around the lingo, the popular phrases and sentiments that they heard in yeshiva and around town, and pose as authorities. The new baal teshuvah usually can't see through this. Even people who have been frum all their lives can't see through it. They have been beaten down for so long, told to obey, ordered to not question. They may have literally been slapped around when they were in school for daring to question, threated with gehennom. This is not uncommon. So because they follow, you follow.
Monday, February 19, 2024
it becomes small
If you say that the Torah is big, but then submit yourself to someone who is familiar with only a small piece of it, then it effectively becomes small. Now if that person knows more than you or something that you don't, he can be helpful, but there's a difference between someone who is helpful to you and someone you look at as everything. Every soul is different. How can one person encompass another? Maybe it's different with the handful of Torah giants, particularly of prior generations. But the average person has access only to the average rabbi, who is not capable of encompassing other people. Today, many people think of a rav as a master. He is in charge of your decisions and your thoughts. You have to filter everything through him. And they are obsessed with this idea of "having a rav." It's the first question they ask you. "Do you have a rav?" I have heard more than one rabbi say to young women, "If he doesn't have a rav (a master) forget him." So this shomer mitzvos young man is suddenly discredited, outcast, and rejected because he doesn't have this one person to rule over him. It's a cynical notion. But it might be something worse. It might be a way of taking people away from the Torah. If every young man has to obey men who know a sliver of Torah, then you have torn them away from Torah and handed them over to conventional constructs. And if, as it is said, most rabbis in the era before moshiach are eruv rav, then you have handed him to erev rav. He's not even allowed to say that something violates the Tanach. No, you must listen to your rav, not to the Tanach, they'll say. Read this as, you must listen to the erev rav.