Moreinu Horav Moshe Dov Ber Rivkin

 Moreinu Horav Moshe Dov Ber Rivkin zt”l 5652/1891 — 5736/1976 At Yeshiva Torah Vodaath from 1928 — 1976 Horav Moshe Dov Ber Rivkin was born to R’ Ben Tzion and Esther Rivkin on 21 Kislev 1891, in Zintsi, Ukraine. R’ Ben Tzion was the Rav of the town and, was considered an expert in Shas Bavli, Yerushalmi, Shulchan Aruch and sifrei Kabbalah. Many gedolim corresponded with him in halachah issues. From a very young age, Rav Moshe Dov Ber was known to be an illui. He began learning gemara at age 5. Rav Rivkin was a chassid of Chabad and most particularly, he was a beloved chasid of the “Rashab” (1860-1920). In his early years, he learned in Yeshiva Tomchei Temimim in Lubavitch, and he later followed the Rashab to Rostov where he learned with him privately and was one of the very few people that the rebbe wanted to have with him in the weeks before his petirah. During these last days, the Rebbe Rashab talked to the young Rav Rivkin in Torah and their discussions became the basis for Rav Rivkin’s first sefer, Ashkavta D’Rebbi. While yet unmarried, Rav Rivkin was invited to become Rosh Yeshiva in Tomchei Temimim. He soon married Nacha Heber of Kalisch, later a noted mechaneches, and immigrated to Eretz Yisrael where he was a founder of Yeshiva Toras Emes and developed a close connection with such luminaries as Horav Avraham Yitzchak Kook zt”l and Horav Yosef Chaim Zonnenfeld zt”l. He was invited to join the faculty of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath in 1928. During his time at Torah Vodaath, he gave smicha to many hundreds of talmidim. He had close personal relationships with the gedolim of the age including R’ Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, R Yaakov Kaminetzky, zt”l, Rav Yitzchak Hutner, zt”l, Rav Yosef Ber Soloveitchik zt”l and others. Through his years, Rav Rivkin published extensively in Torah journals and also collected a selection of his chidushim in his sefer, Teferes Tzion. Rav Rivkin not only taught Torah in the bais medrash, he was also role model to his talmidim in how to use Torah as a guide for life. When he was seen shopping for shabbos, it was a lesson in itself. Rav Rivkin’s devotion to his talmidim was unparalleled and was returned in force. Rav Rivkin’s talmidim were bound to him with such love and commitment that when he was hospitalized in his last weeks, they stayed in shifts near his hospital bed day and night. Doctors were amazed at the attachment the talmidim felt for their Rebbi, recompense for his dedication to them throughout his life. Rav Rivkin, zt”l was niftar on 18 MarCheshvon 1976. Yehi zichro boruch

Harav Moshe Dov Ber Rivkin

Jews without mitzvos

 Have you ever met a celebrity who behaved very badly?

Yup! My apt is on the upper east side of NYC. One Sunday morning I went running out of my home to pick up some things for breakfast at the market. I found myself walking across the street with Tony Bourdain. I looked up and said “aren’t you Tony Bourdain?”. He quickly answered me, “yes, and I don’t talk with people.” Wow!

His father was Catholic of French descent and his mother was Jewish.

The god that's going to punish someone else

Do Neo-Litvack yeshivists believe in G-d? I don't see much evidence of that. I spent 5 years in yeshivas and have been around these people for forty years. The various words for G-d rarely appear on their lips. They also rarely take hashkacha pratis into account with any situation other than keeping you in yeshiva and carry on with such arrogance and hardheartedness that there couldn't be any room for Him in their psyches. Character doesn't matter either.

I'm not talking about Litvacks. The Chofetz Chaim was Litvish and he certainly cared about character and chesed. You see it in his books and that fact that he wrote books for the public. But he lived a century ago. 

Today, particularly with the influence of the least Jewish country on earth, Israel, we deal with an entirely different type of person. They believe in Torah study, as a false G-d. As for those mitzvos, you gotta do them because if you don't the god that punishes other people will punish. Yeshivists don't believe they'll be punished because after all they study Torah and that's all you need. Find me a rabbi who has ever apologized for anything. But this god punishes others. They'll threaten you with this god's punishments. They'll never tell you of his love or anything like that. This god doesn't do anything for you. He punishes. but not them, only you.

Is this not idol worship? I think it's textbook. 

If

 If

by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Some really nice goyim out there

 Having worked in the celebrity circuit for many years covering entertainment news, I’ve met and interviewed hundreds of celebrities. Although I met a few real stinkers (although won’t name them), most celebs were nice. A few stood out as being just really lovely namely Josh Brolin, Danny Boyle, Ralph Fiennes, Jeremy Renner and Keanu Reeves.

But the story I want to share isn’t mine but rather one that I read years ago and to this day just makes me smile whenever I’m reminded of it, not just because of the content but because it stars one of my all time favourite stars, so if you don’t mind I’d like to share this story.

It’s a terrific story told by a man called Marc Haynes, who remembered meeting Sir Roger Moore at Nice Airport in the South of France as a young (seven-year-old) boy in about 1983, in the days before they had First Class Lounges at airports. He was with his grandad and saw Roger Moore sitting at the departure gate, quietly reading a paper. Marc told his grandfather that he'd seen James Bond and requested to go get an autograph from the actor. His grandad had no idea who James Bond or Roger Moore was, so they walked over and he popped Marc in front of Roger Moore with the words, "my grandson says you're famous… can you sign this?" Sir Roger was quick to ask the young boy’s name and signed the back of his plane ticket with what Marc called "a fulsome note full of best wishes." Marc was ecstatic but as they headed back to their seats, he looked at the signature and saw that it didn't say 'James Bond' but rather 'Roger Moore'. Having no idea who 'Roger Moore' was, his heart sank and Marc told his grandad that he'd signed it wrong and that he'd signed someone else's name - so his grandad marches back to this imposter ‘Roger Moore’, holding the ticket which he's only just signed telling him that he’s signed the wrong name…

When the penny dropped, Sir Roger’s face crinkled up and he beckoned Marc over who when by his knee, leaned over the young boy, theatrically looked from side-to-side, raised is famous eyebrow and said in a hushed voice: “I have to sign my name as 'Roger Moore' because otherwise... Blofeld might find out I was here…”

The actor asked him not to tell anyone that he had seen James Bond and he thanked Marc for keeping his secret. Delighted, he went back to his seat with his grandad and when his grandad asked if he'd signed 'James Bond.' Marc said he hadn’t, but that it was OK, he’d just got it wrong.

After all, he was working with James Bond now…

Many years later Marc was working as a scriptwriter on a video project for UNICEF for which Sir Roger was a longstanding and devoted ambassador and was recording a piece to camera. According to Marc, the living legend was just being completely lovely and funny, putting everyone at ease as was his way. As they were setting up, Marc told Sir Roger the story of how the two of them had meet at Nice Airport all those years ago. Moore was charmed by the story but although confessing to not remembering it, he told Marc he was glad that he had got to meet his hero, James Bond.

But then, while leaving the shoot after the filming had finished, Sir Roger walked past Marc in the corridor as he was heading out to his car and as the two of them got level, he paused, theatrically looked both ways, raised his iconic eyebrow and in a hushed voice said:

“Of course, I remember our meeting in Nice. But I didn't say anything in there, because those cameramen - any one of them could be working for Blofeld.'"

What a legend… I wish I had got the chance to meet him, even just to get his autograph.

https://www.quora.com/Who-is-the-rudest-celebrity-you-have-met-and-who-would-be-the-nicest?topAns=1477743742114058

Marcus Aurelius

 

You have to assemble your life yourself action by action.

Marcus Aurelius

Stop asking for advice

 

gentiles again

 I shouldn't have to do this but OJs disparage gentiles to frequently that I find comments like this helpful to straighten  out our perspective:

What is Jimmy Page like as a person?

I’ve known Jimmy’s daughter Scarlet for over 20 years - she’s a good old friend and a very well respected rock photographer in the UK. I’ve met her Dad only once in all that time, at a book launch for Scarlet’s book ‘Resonators’ which is portrait photos of famous guitar players. He was chatty, polite to anyone who approached him and mindful not to steal his daughter’s thunder. Above all else, it was very evident that he was a proud Dad. I spoke to him about Scarlet’s book and work in general, not about him or his playing and he was hugely enthusiastic about her talent and success. Scarlet does not trade on her Dad’s name or success at all. In fact for the first year or so I knew her, I didn’t know that Jimmy Page was her dad and it took someone else to tell me before I found out!

Gentiles can be incredible

 

Singing

karens

 yaakov feared esav because he feared that his (yaakov's) deeds weren't sufficient, he wasn't worthy of Hashem's protection

when he tried to reveal moshiach to his sons and the prophecy stalled, he feared that they weren't worthy, that's why they said shema to him, to say, don't worry we are with you

today people have barely any sense of doing the right thing, they feel no guilt, aren't worried that they aren't worthy, they are entitled to what they want

the bitachon movement plays off of this, it's mostly people sitting around expecting G-d to serve them regardless of what they have tried to do to improve their own lives

then they say if God doesn't give it to me, i guess it was poison, this is a way of pretending not to be prima donnas

no could be you didn't do enough in your life to deserve it, you didn't do your part

Overcoming trauma

 

Many good tips here

In praise of the Midwest

Actor Bruce Willis started as a page at NBC in New York. One of his jobs was to fill M&M plates for the actors on Saturday Night Live. After he became a megastar, he told actor Bill Murray, you and Gilda were always nice to me.

Bill Murray was born on September 21, 1950, in Evanston, Illinois, to Lucille, a mail room clerk, and Edward J. Murray, a lumber salesman. He attended Loyola Academy, an all-boys Jesuit school in Wilmette, Illinois, a northern suburb of Chicago.[5][6]

Gilda Radner was born in Detroit, Michigan, to Jewish parents Henrietta (née Dworkin), a legal secretary, and Herman Radner, a businessman.[1][2]

Raise your kids in the Midwest. It's the best bet for developing good middos. 

I heard somebody say the other day, the primary reason not to live in Israel is that the kids become Israelis. Your mitzvah is to live where you can be the best Jew. 

I get stressed

 To say, "I get stressed," is to imply that one is the victim of some kind of stress virus that entered the body. Rather, one chooses to look at life in a way that leaves her feeling stressed. For example, if a person walks into an office and finds the bathroom light and AC on and makes a big deal about it, even though it's a rare occurrence, that's a decision to take something that's not serious and make it seem serious. Lights will be left on. Food will be left out. It happens. To get upset each time is to fail to allow people to be human. And that causes more stress than most anything. Furthermore, to press others about the incident, to accuse and say, "You were the last one in here," brings stress into a relationship and infects the other person with a problematic perspective.  

People like this take pills, go to psychologists, eat special herbs in the hope that all of those external entities will provide a remedy for the "anxiety disorder." 

The anxiety is not a disorder. It's a symptom of an outlook on life that needs work. 

bitachon like this

 

What was Rav Soloveitchik’s halachic position regarding electricity?

 https://613tube.com/watch/?v=TeMrYf4d7ek

then ignore it

 You don't have to out argue them. If what they are saying seems wrong to you, messes you up, then ignore it. 

Jews without mitzvos

 

What actor was a nightmare to work with?

…..Zero Mostel….

Got to the point no one wanted to work with him……producers were shunning him…..

As an actor…..no one could touch him……as a human being……no one wanted to touch him….

https://www.quora.com/What-actor-was-a-nightmare-to-work-with

get your tin hat

 Don't let the aliens take your brain.

Magic Jesus

 Journalist Chris Hedges, who himself is an ordained minister, criticizes the Christian right which he deems nationalistic and even fascistic. He says that the billionaire class funds them because they don't make economic demands. 

"With magic Jesus, you don't need labor unions. With magic Jesus, you don't need healthcare. Because magic Jesus is going to give you a Cadillac and make all your dreams come true. And that is that shift, from a reality based world, into the world of magical thinking. And once people shift into that world of magical thinking, you can't reach them through rational argument." 

He adds that these people don't like discussing the Bible because they don't know it. They know enough to buttress their theology. 

[Democracy doesn’t exist in the United States: Chris Hedges | UpFront, 22:02, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EDKRGkgLsI, Al Jazeera English]

Isn't the Haredi world a bit like this? Just study Torah. It's all you need. The Gemara is their magic Jesus. And it's like the Modern Orthodox too. Israel is their magic Jesus. 

If middos matter

I had four yeshivish bochurim over my house for Shabbos. They were decent American kids and it went well for the most part. But over time, arguments developed, at times they got fierce, even nasty. They were not hearing each other, not learning from each other. Each was locked in a position. The goal was to defeat the other. 

One of them didn't join in the arguments. He even said to me privately that he appreciated hearing my perspective as he hadn't heard it before. What was different about him? He was from Los Angeles. They were all from the New York area, Lakewood and Monsey.

I think back on that NY rabbi who told me not to live in Los Angeles because it was tuma par excellence. He didn't tell me not to live in New York. 

We don't see our own flaws. We don't see the shortcomings of our group and our city.

At the end of Shabbos, the guy from Los Angeles apologized to me if he said anything to which I could take offense. I told him, "I can't think of anything. In fact, I was thinking this guy is so thoughtful in what he says to people. Those are the ones who apologize."

New York frummies see New York as the best place to raise children, the most religiously devoted place. I beg to differ. If middos matter then New York might be the worst place. 

Rabbi Melamed on the Divine Spark in other religions - Alan Brill

 

Read on blog or Reader The Book of Doctrines and Opinions: Read on blog or Reader Rabbi Melamed on the Divine Spark in other religions By Alan Brill on June 30, 2025 Continuing my discussion about Rabbi Melamed on Other Religions. I started with his statements on Hinduism and will now look at his broader premises- see “The Divine Spark among Other Religions” and here “Rabbi Abraham Isaac Kook on Different Religions.” Once again, I will use the posted selective English translation because it is accessible; however, I do have the Hebrew original marked up with marginal notes and a full response. For Rabbi Melamed, all religions have a spark of the divine, some of the light of the divine, and help the world advance toward its moral perfection. The religions of the world educate towards the moral foundations, “each religion according to its level.” Through accepting these points, Rabbi Melamed removed any stigma of other religions as needing to be negated or the need to call other religions as demonic, entirely false, or to teach a restrictive exclusivism where only Jews have religion. Rather, for most people in the world, Melamed thinks that “it is right for every person to continue in the faith of their fathers, because with the loss of faith, moral corruption increases.” Rabbi Melamed also thinks that the religions of the world are progressing toward deeper and more abstract forms of understanding their religions, thereby removing “the dross of the crude material elements within it” allowing them to elevate their souls “to higher faith and morality.” Jews should not follow these religions; however, the religions of the world “serve as a moral and faith compass for all peoples.” Rabbi Melamed acknowledges that religious ideas are evolving and progressing to deeper understandings, the ancient and medieval forms of the religion that most people know from textbooks do not reflect current ideas in those religions. He has spoken with many people and read many books to overcome the essentializing of religions in ancient forms. I am always surprised at people who think other religions are where they were in 500 CE or even 1700 CE, but at the same time have a modern understanding of Judaism. continue

Limited experience

I was home alone this week and needed advice on how to warm up the cholent. I went to one neighbor and asked how high should the flame be on the blech. She said she didn't know because she uses a hot plate. I asked her should the crock pot be on auto or low. She said that she doesn't know because she uses the hot plate. I asked if the bag that the kishka comes in is edible. She said, she doesn't know because she doesn't make kishka. So here's a frum woman, a Haredi woman, and she can't answer questions about cholent cooking. She knows only her exact way of making it. She directed me to another neighbor. This lady also knew nothing about crock pots, but she does use a blech and told me to put the flame on the lowest level, and then to keep the pot off the flame. I said, what about if you use a tin, which we do, how high should the flame be then? She said she didn't know as she doesn't use a tin. She did know about the kishka bag.

Moral of the story, most from frum people are very limited in their life experience. Even when it comes to cholent. Not only are they not curious about the world, they aren't even curious about the frum world. I'm not talking about their knowledge of Paris here. They only know exactly what they know about cholent! So usually you can't rely on their advice. They just push you to be like them, and that does not necessarily work for the BT.

Another example, an old lady in Brooklyn reacted in shock when I moved out of there. Why would you leave Brooklyn? Why? Because the houses cost $1.2 million. She doesn't  know that her husband bought their house in 1956 when it was affordable. She doesn't know that her house now is worth $1.2 million and that translates into a deposit and mortgage that few people can afford. 

She also doesn't consider that I don't have relatives in Brooklyn. Where was she that day? She was at her daughter's house. I don't have family in Brooklyn. So on Shabbos I'll be all alone. Frum people in Brooklyn visit their families. Thus, it is better for me to move to a friendly and less expensive place like Detroit or Memphis. 

She might say how can you move to those places. They aren't as frum. Many New Yorkers have this view of out of town. It's not necessarily accurate. You can be just as frum in Cleveland or Toronto as New York and your middos will be better. which is a major part of being frum. But I asked one rabbi about moving to Cleveland and he said to me, you want to be in a place that's growing. 

Do I? I think that's a New York sentiment. It's part of the relishing of wealth. They want to see construction.

I don't need all that. What I need is a shul and a mikva. I don't need 100 shuls and 100 mikvas. 

What I need is a friendly place that I can afford. And he was wrong on another count, those places are growing. He didn't know all that because he has limited life experience. He never left Monsey, even for weddings he wouldn't leave. He'd never been to any of those cities. It doesn't matter that he learned lots of Torah. He didn't know the practicalities of life outside of New York. 

Another example. When I became frum, two rabbis pushed me to study in Israel. I resisted. I had no interest in that. I felt that I was going through enough changes. They didn't understand that because they never went through such changes. And Israel was too much for me in the end. I was very damaged by my time there. 

But not only that. These are yeshiva men and to them having a rav is essential. Those were the days before the Internet and before cheap phone plans. Even mail was expensive. We used to send this thin blue envelopes. So even if I had found a rav in Israel, which I didn't because the yeshiva I attended was a nut house, what would happen when I left? These men don't think about that because their kids have rabbanim from their yeshiva days in New York. They go to Israel for a year and come back to their families and their rabbi. They didn't consider that my situation was entirely different. They only know theirs. And what was I coming back to? I gave up my apartment. Am I returning to live with non-frum relatives 100 miles from kosher food? They didn't consider this because their kids go to Israel and come home to stay with them. They only know their limited life. They didn't stop to consider that my situation as a BT is entirely different. 

It's not just advice, but even their assessment of people can be entirely inappropriate for others. There's a rabbi on my street, a yeshivish rabbi, who made the ridiculous but common statement that Americans don't move to Israel only because they can't give up their luxuries. I immediately suspected that he must come from money because there are families all over Lakewood, Williamsburg, Monroe, Borough Park who have no money, live in broken down places, get food stamps, Medicaid, and HUD housing. He doesn't know these people because he came from money probably and many rabbis only deal with wealthy baalei batim. Those are the only houses that they ever enter.

This rabbi started a shul in a basement of another shul, but this week opened a huge new building, gorgeous. The aron kodesh cost probably $150,000. And I don't know of any fundraising drive that he did. Whenever that happens, the guy comes from a wealthy family, and that's where he got the money from. That's why he made the statement about Americans and luxuries. Not that his relatives need to move to Israel, but they don't necessarily need big houses. And I have been in the big houses of several American rabbanim and their siblings. There's a whole class of kollel people and rabbis that come from money. It's not all of them, but there a lot like that.

So if some naïve BT takes his statement as guilt to move to Israel it's a problem because his statement applies to his rich relatives. He is talking to himself, as most people even rabbis do.

I can give you 100 more examples. This goes on all the time. The lesson, BTs must think for themselves and go for advice only to people who understand them. And I doubt that there are 10 of them in the world.

more praise of the Midwest

Actor Bruce Willis started as a page at NBC in New York. One of his jobs was to fill M&M plates for the actors on Saturday Night Live. After he became a megastar, he told actor Bill Murray, you and Gilda were always nice to me.

Bill Murray was born on September 21, 1950, in Evanston, Illinois, to Lucille, a mail room clerk, and Edward J. Murray, a lumber salesman. He attended Loyola Academy, an all-boys Jesuit school in Wilmette, Illinois, a northern suburb of Chicago.^[5][6]

Gilda Radner was born in Detroit, Michigan, to Jewish parents Henrietta (née Dworkin), a legal secretary, and Herman Radner, a businessman.^[1][2]

Raise your kids in the Midwest. It's the best bet for developing good middos. 

I heard somebody say the other day, the primary reason not to live in Israel is that the kids become Israelis. Your mitzvah is to live where you can be the best Jew. 

Jews without mitzvos

 

Why did James Caan never become a huge movie star after The Godfather?

Question: Why did James Caan never become a huge movie star after The Godfather?

He was….briefly.

Why didn’t it last?

1. His box office draws were terrible - Excluding The Godfather films, Caan’s most profitable film was Eraser, he wasn’t the star of it, and it was 20 YEARS after The Godfather. Caan was a great actor, but he just didn’t make anybody any serious money.
2. He had a talent for turning down films that became blockbusters - M*A*S*H*, Kramer vs. Kramer, Close Encounters, Apocalypse Now,etc. Basically if Caan rejected it, it was almost ensured to be a hit.
3. His talent for picking sh*t films - Funny Lady, Freebie and The Bean,Another Man, Another Chance, Mickey Blue Eyes,etc. demonstrated that Caan could pick sh*tless films almost effortlessly. While he earned sizable paychecks for them, they did little to enhance his reputation in Hollywood.
4. Cocaine - Basically, Caan had a decade or so long cocaine problem. He made a great deal of money in the 1970s but apparently between his wives (4) and his cocaine addiction he ran through MILLIONS of dollars and he received a terrible profile in Hollywood and in the media. His drug abuse, and the time he lost because of it, lowered his profile.
5. He made some seriously poor decisions - Beyond his turning down films, Caan was in films which could have been franchised, and yet he declined to do so despite the potential to revive his career and introduce himself to a new generation of fans. Alien Nation could have been a springboard for Caan into either a lucrative film or television series franchise, and yet he turned up his nose at the concept. Even his turn as Philip Marlowe on HBO in 1996 was supposed to be the lead off into a series of such projects featuring him, but Caan nixed that.
6. He was a major league a8shole - Very few of Caan’s costars will disparage his work ethic and his abilities. MANY of his costars will tell stories of what a d*ck that he was and how they wouldn’t work with him again because of it. Even though re-pairings of him and Al Pacino, Kathy Bates, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Marlon Brando could have earned Caan millions, none of those individuals wanted to work with Caan again after they did. Between his drug abuse, his abrasiveness, and his excessively high opinion of himself and his talents, he just couldn’t attract stars that wanted to work with him; or retain those who had.

James Caan had the world on a platter following his appearance in The Godfather.

He could have done ANYTHING that he wanted, he was offered a staggering array of high profile projects that he turned down, and he worked steadily throughout the 1970s. He was one of the biggest stars in Hollywood at the time and yet he was unable to do much with it but squander it.

Like his peers of the era Ryan O’Neal, Bruce Dern, John Savage, Michael York,etc. Caan’s personal life and unstable box office led to his profile dropping until he returned to the character roles that launched him in the 1960s.

Great actor…not so great guy:

https://www.quora.com/Why-did-James-Caan-never-become-a-huge-movie-star-after-The-Godfather

Caan was born on March 26, 1940, in The Bronx, New York City, to Sophie (née Falkenstein; 1915–2016)^[3] and Arthur Caan (1909–1986), Jewish immigrants from Bingen am Rhein, Rhineland, Germany.^[4][5][6] His father was a kosher meat dealer.^[7]

Career choice

The Duties of the Heart says to choose an occupation that suits one's nature. However, the frum world today says to run all decisions by rabbis and rabbis have no clue about careers. To them, the male portion of the Jewish world is divided into two groups: rabbis and baalei batim. The latter are these slobs whose job is to make lots of money and give it to rabbis. Some make more money. Some make less. There's no conception of suitability to a profession. All professions are narishkite anyway. The whole world is a joke to rabbis, unless a dentist or repairman is needed. If a young man even talks about choosing a profession he is steered back into more Gemara lomdus for as many more years as he can stand. Career choice is a verboten topic. Any musings about it are repressed, stamped out. It is regarded as a type of sin.

Yet, the moment the young man is done with yeshiva, if only because the wife that he was finally allowed to obtain, demands it, he now plunges into the working world without training. In Western societies this is a problem, because work is specialized and often requires skill and knowledge, and it is very demanding. You can't support yourself pushing around a milk cart anymore. Works requires dedication and concentration. And that's hard to do if you aren't interested in the work. The Duties of the Heart anticipated all of this. If only rabbis listened to him.

It annoys me when rabbis ask, "What do you do?" And they all ask. It annoys me because when I was in yeshiva I was not allowed to ask, "What will I do?" I wasn't allowed to get any job training. I was talked out of continuing in graduate school. One rabbi even tried to talk me out of getting a job cleaning a shul a half hour a day so that I could eat and maybe go on dates. Now they all want to know, "What do you do?" Read: Do you have money that you can give me?

The moment you walk out the yeshiva door you are expected to be a millionaire. I was once at a parlor meeting and the rabbi of the local shul approached me asking me where I lived. I pointed to the small condos across the street. I kid you not, he turned away, showing me the back of his head and walked away. He wants to hook up with the rich baalei batim only. How they got that way, I cannot say. I suppose usually it's through family money. It wasn't through careful planning and training as advised by a rabbi because rabbis are clueless about ways of earning a parnassah. They know only how to spend it. 

Will you mochel?

I'm always suspicious of Yinglish and shall we call it Ivrish. Words become cliches when you don't speak fluently in a single language, when you insert foreign words. Those words lose their meaning or take on narrow strips of meaning. The word mochel falls into that category. 

Let's say that person A hurt person B, let's say he hurt B very badly. He should feel bad about that. He should feel guilty. He should feel shame. He should question himself. How could I have been so selfish or careless or lazy or egotistical or ignorant? There's much soul searching to engage in. 

It seems to me that people in the OJ world don't do that. Rather, they ask for mechilah, which means, they seek exoneration from Divine punishment. How do you get that exoneration? You get it by getting the other party to say "I mochel." With those magic words it's all over. It's like putting a paper ticket in a parking lot machine and the gate that blocks the road is lifted. You can drive out of the lot now. It's all over.

But is it really over? Is person B not still in pain? Has person A changed the parts of himself that caused such hurt?

Frum people don't think about that, not usually. They are so focused on schar and onesh that they see life in technical terms. They see schar and onesh in technical terms. There is little sense of quality to anything. It's more like how many daf did you 'learn' (pardon the Yinglish). Did you bentch? (pardon the Yinglish) I ask, did you learn something when you learned? Did you feel anything when you bentched? To get mechila, people put on a nice guy act, much like that with kiruv, to elicit the magic words, and then once the words are uttered it's wham bam thank you maam. Topic closed. 

They even go so far as to insist that the matter not be brought up again. You gave me mechila. You are not allowed to bring it up again. Yes, there is a halacha like that, but I believe we approach that overly technically.

If I hurt somebody, and they forgive me but want to bring up the matter again, I hope that they will because they are still hurting. And whose to say that my apology was totally sincere? I don't know if bringing it up 1,000 times is healthy for anybody, but a few times might be called for depending on the seriousness of the issue and the strength and sincerity of the apology. 

Even after the mechila, even if A never mentions the subject again to B, should A let it rest? Has he fixed himself? Did he ever feel bad or did he just fear punishment? Why would punishment come if he didn't do anything immoral? Is this the god who likes to punish for violation of arbitrary rules or the God of justice? 

I think for most people, it's the former, and that is no different from idolatry. The wind god will blow down your farm if you don't appease him. He wants an animal sacrifice. Who knows why? Today we have the boss, the CEO, the cop. Whoever has power over us. We appease him out of fear. People do this all the time in corporations, in government, in the military. They fail to operate from a moral code. They just appease the one in power. 

That's what most people do with mechila. And those are the ones who even seek it. Many people don't even do that. But the ones who do often act as if they are appeasing an irrational god. Getting that mechila means appeasement. What about that person you hurt? Oh that's over. He said the magic words. 

But is it?

What is the message here?

From the Shapell's newsletter. Nearly all of this newsletter consists of letters from students. And every letter is built around Oct 7 and the alleged anti-Semitism that is swarming America. And on top of that there is Torah study-- Gemara for the men and Rashi for the women. 

This one just has to tell us that he is becoming a doctor, something all doctors seem to need to tell everyone, and then it's right to Oct. 7 and defending Israel, the country that is. 

This one is from a female, so Gemara is replaced with Rashi who is employed to understand those nasty campus protests. 

And that leads us to the grand prize, the soldier.

So what's my point here? These are new BTs. Shouldn't they be excited about finding G-d, who barely gets a mention here, as well as a life plan of mitzvos? Why is Oct 7 and defending Israel the main thing and textual studies the next thing after that? This is Modern Orthodoxy today: anti-Semitism, Israel, and Gemara, and by Gemara they always mean lomdus. It's not a far cry from the Reform Jewish Hebrew school Holocaust and Israel. It's that with a little Torah study on top. 

For me this is banal. I hesitate to criticize the students. Their accomplishment in becoming frum is monumental, and if this is the way the works for them then they should go for it. But I suspect that the school is shaping their minds, as several of them write here, and to what is it shaping them? Secularity for the most part. 

As for the antisemitism, somebody should tell them that America continues to be the least anti-Semitic country in history. The Congress continuously passes laws criminalizing antisemitism and the administration is instituting policy that denies visas to anybody who criticizes the state of Israel, which is not antisemitism, particularly given the government's conduct over the last 20 months. Campus protests and encampments are not anti-Semitic. Half the protestors are Jewish and they are protesting actions of the IDF. So let's drop the crybaby bit. But they can't because Zionism has been fueled by obsession with anti-Semitism since Herzl and even when there isn't any, they imagine it. That's really the god that they worship.

In short, Shapell's is a Zionism training ground, even though most of the rabbis walk around in black suits. How confusing. 

temperaments differ

This is the statute (chok) of the Torah. (19:2)

One of the seemingly irrational aspects of the Poroh Adumoh is the fact that it is metaher teme’im and metameh tehorim (purifies the impure and makes impure the pure). People’s natures and

temperaments differ from each other, as do their shorshei haneshamos (“sources of the souls” or inborn spiritual makeup). For this reason, the path adopted by one person in his avodas Hashem may be perfect for him, but totally inappropriate for another person with a different emotional makeup and spiritual level.

Each person has to engage in introspection to determine his specific character traits and positive qualities. This way, he will be in a position to know what his specific duties are in this world, and

what types of avodas Hashem will assist him specifically in fulfilling his purpose in life. Hashem did not create us to be clones of each other, and the Poroh Adumoh teaches us that what serves as a source of taharah for one person may potentially be a source of tumah for another, based on each person’s specific circumstances.

פ' חקת תשפ"ה Based on droshos by Maran HaGaon Rav Moshe Sternbuch shlita, Gaavad of Yerushalayim. To receive these weekly divrei Torah email ravsternbuchtorah@gmail.com