One of the mistakes I made in shiduchim was forcing myself to be a yeshiva man because that's what the women who had any seriousness about dating wanted, not that they married anybody. The result of that was that I feared marriage because I didn't want the yucky feeling of being a yeshiva man to go on for the rest of my life.
You have to be yourself. That's what the women do. They don't walk around in black suits and have a chavrusa every night. They are much more free.
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