We gotta get you married

I was under the influence of a rabbi (some call that having a rav) who used to say "We've gotta get you married." This is strange wording for numerous reasons. Firstly, he didn't do a damn thing to help me. There was no we. He never arranged a shidduch, never spoke to another party to help out the shidduch, never spent more than 10 seconds talking to me about any one shidduch. He didn't even come to my wedding.

But besides that, it's strange because most of the world says, I hope you find a good woman and then if you really get along for a while you can get married. But be careful. And that's a world that allows divorce. The crazy OJ world punishes and shuns you or more accurately your children if there's a divorce but rushes you into marriage with a stranger even if it's not going well.

This rabbi is saying, just get married, to anyone. Many rabbis talk like this. They slap people together. Or oftentimes, they encourage a decent match for the woman but tell the man marry to anyone who will have him. The idea of a good match for the man is ridiculed. 

As a result, the man caters to the woman during the dating so she'll marry him, and then he can get on with being a proper OJ man. We men just get married and serve God in our misery. Actually we serve the rabbis. The woman is caught up in romantic foolishness, so the man must fool her. He doesn't pay attention to how he feels when he is around her. That's goyish. Just try to make her feel good so she'll marry you and you'll have sons that might become Torah scholars, or daughters who will marry scholars, but if not, (and it's not likely) they will help fill the yeshiva buildings where you'll send big checks for tuition, thus supporting the rabbis who run them. Everything is built around the ruling elites if you haven't noticed. Of course, nobody tells you that at the kiruv singles gathering. 

The nut job rabbis do something else as well. They glorify and disparage women. Women are on a higher plane yet they are irrational, materialistic, and hypersensitive. They marry for foolish romance but they are superior. [They aren't really on a higher plane. That's a myth to go along with all the other myths.] You must indulge them to get to marriage and then again for fifty years for the marriage to survive, yet they are superior. If they were really spiritually superior, you wouldn't have to indulge them. You can't have both at the same time. And so the OJ world is full of contradictions. Just get married to a random person, but it's forever. Women are the best and the worst, all at once. Marriage is going to be wonderful, endure the misery.

Of course you can't question any of this because the divorce rate is lower in the OJ world, so we must be superior. And what about the pain rate? If you go by the angry looks on people's faces and the nasty comments that emerge from their mouths you might say it's much higher for us lucky OJers. If we didn't punish children by making shiduchim impossible for them what would the rate be?