1. Caring. A person who cares about others.
2. Humility. Doesn't claim to have an answer for everything. Will defer questions to others who may be better equipped to answer. Will say, "Let me think about it," and will get back to you.
3. Takes the time to hear the complexity of your circumstances.
4. Gets to know you and your life story and honors it.
5. Is knowledgeable in the topics in which you are going to him. If it's halacha, he knows the spectrum of opinions. Same with hashkafa.
6. Respects the various derachim of Orthodoxy.
7. Values you as a person and respects you.
8. Understands that chozrim b'teshuvah can't just imitate FFBs. They have dreams from childhood and are not necessarily comfortable in standard Orthodox environments.
9. Proactive. Takes action on your behalf. Arranges a shiduch, suggests a job lead, lends you a book, invites you to simchas or simple meals.
These are all requirements really, but 8 out of 9 might be sufficient. Don't attach yourself to somebody who doesn't qualify. The baseball player Ted Williams said that the best hitting advice he ever got was from Rogers Hornsby who said, look for a good pitch. Don't swing at bad pitches. So for those who keep nagging you with the question, "Do you have a rav?" the answer is none of your business, but the answer after that is, i'm looking for a good pitch. It can take a long time. There aren't many good ravs around.
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