A BT's main goal is to do mitzvos and feel positive about it, to get his or her life started, to find a spouse, to make sure that he or she can afford the cost of being Orthodox. Middle America is a good place for all that. NY is not. Israel is even worse.
Here's a list of the best 15 medium-sized cities – all with populations between 100,000 and 499,000. 4 are in the Midwest. 9 are in Texas!
- 15. Cedar Rapids, Iowa
- 14. The Woodlands, Texas
- 13. Laredo, Texas
- 12. Sioux Falls, South Dakota
- 11. McKinney, Texas
- 10. Frisco, Texas
- 9. Round Rock, Texas
- 8. McAllen, Texas
- 7. Sugar Land, Texas
- 6. Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
- 5. League City, Texas
- 4. Cary, North Carolina
- 3. Fishers, Indiana
- 2. Pearland, Texas
- 1. Carmel, Indiana
So why are BTs from Texas pushed to go study in New York or Israel? It's because the handlers are nearly all Yeshivists. They don't view the BT as a person, don't question if going to Israel or New York is right for him. They value only pilpul and operate under an assumption that you have to go to NY and then Israel for that. Why would NY be better? It's a matter of quantity. There are more yeshivas there. Somehow that is assumed to make your learning better even though you never step foot in them. Quality is not considered by such people, only quantity. More dafim, more commentators, more hours in the beis midrash. There's no grasp of what a soul is. They are racking up learning points as a banker does interest points.
They don't grasp that a BT needs to find a way of doing mitzvos. All they know is study, and they see the BT only in that context, meaning they don't see a person. They don't know what a neshama is. They don't understand human needs, don't understand the challenges of becoming frum. The guy from Texas didn't need to turn his life upside down, moving away from support systems, plopping down in an alien culture that offends his sensibilities (as NY and Israel do to almost everyone.) He didn't need to burn through his savings. He could have stayed in Texas and become frum in a gradual, healthy way. He didn't need to send his system into shock.
In the crazy minds of most kiruv people, Gemara study will magically fix all this. Presto.
And what about all those that try this path and wind up walking away from everything? Those people are condemned and then forgotten. The Yeshivist will never see it as his fault. That's because one of the mitzvos that Yeshivists ignore is teshuvah. Fanatics are not capable of remorse.
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