The difference between Tohu and Tikkun:

The main difference between Tohu and Tikkun is that the world of Tohu contained very high, sublime Divine lights with only small vessels to retain them. Tikkun, however, contains a balanced quantity of Divine lights with substantially large vessels to withhold the light. Thus, while the world of Tohu contained superior Divine lights, the world of Tikkun contains superior vessels. These vessels are rooted in a very high level of G-dliness and surpass the advantage of even the sublime lights of Tohu. This is similar to the power of intellect found in the brain in relation to the ability of movement found in the feet. When weighing the two soul powers against each other, the power of the mind is certainly of greater importance and prestige than the power of movement in the legs. Nevertheless, it is specifically the legs that can carry the mind to wherever it chooses. Therefore, the legs contain certain advantages even over the mind.

This difference is similar to the difference between the relationship between Torah and Mitzvos. While Torah is certainly higher than Mitzvos, being that it involves the mind and intellect as opposed to mere action, nevertheless the effect of Mitzvos reaches higher than Torah. This is vividly seen from the law that states that one must nullify his Torah learning to perform a Mitzvah that cannot be performed by others. This is because Mitzvos contain an advantage even over Torah. It is for this reason that even a simpleton who performs a Mitzvah without any Divine intent, but simply due to this being G-d’s will, can find more favor in Hashem’s eyes than the great Kabbalistic intentions and unification performed by a Tzaddik. All of this is due to the advantage contained within the vessels of Tikkun over the lights of Tohu.

a single good deed

"One can't begin by teaching a beginner 613 laws or encouraging him to commit to several new practices all at once. Rather encourage him to take on a single good deed.  Ensure that he knows this is one of many good deeds about which he will learn at a later stage. Right now, however, focus on this one good deed. And then we have God's promise that when he will do that deed, it will have tremendous success. Rabbi Saadya Gaon taught, repeated by the Baal Shem Tov, quoted many times in Chasidic teachings, "When you grasp a part of the essence, or a small amount of it, you grasp the entire thing." By encouraging a Jew to observe one of the 613 commandments, it is in fact "a part of the essence." So ultimately it influences that Jew, such that he becomes connected with the essence. Or as the Mishnah puts it, one mitzvah leads to another and the Jew continues to increase in the light of Torah and mitzvos. Moreover, ultimately, this Jew himself teaches others, bringing other Jews to Judaism. He "expels nations" and implants the Jewish vine after banishing non-Jewishness from his own portion of the world. And when many Jews join together, each one transforms the materialism of his own portion of the world and "You implant it." This becomes God's plant. His handiwork in which He takes pride." We go to greet the true and complete redemption when all mankind "will serve God with one purpose." the entire world will be affected to serve God by performing their commandments. And the Jewish people radiate to the nations an eternal light through holding the light of Torah and the candle of mitzvos." 

7th Lubavitcher Rebbe, JEM, New World, Old Song, 840

Learn whatever you want

I hope very much that you also listen to someone who is experienced. I know what you are talking about. But I wish to Hakodesh Baruch Hu that you will know what I’m talking about. Look into the Torah. Have something stable in learning every day. And don’t learn what you don’t feel you are close to. Learn whatever you want. אין אדם לומד תורה אלא ממקום שלבו חפץ  You learn what your heart pulls you to learn. It can be halacha. It can be Chumash. It can be Gemarah. It can be Mishnayos. It can be Midrash. Whatever. But don’t leave the Torah. This is life. Torat Chaim.

Rabbi Uri Zohar, interview on “From Israeli Film to Bnei Brak Gadol - Rabbi Uri Zohar | Meaningful People #45,” 20:20-20:56

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2spVmpkrYFE

can't look to an authority

Just heard this idea, when recovering from abuse, you shouldn't look to an external authority. Look within.

https://www.bitchute.com/video/EooxgehW7cML/

midway 

https://machonshlomoblues.blogspot.com/2022/08/machon-shlomo.html

Some Mistakes You Never Stop Paying For

"Well I sort of got sidetracked." Roy Hobbs

he should not say, “Be quiet and shut your mouth.”

Maharal (Baer HaGolah #6) One should not reject something which is against one’s views… especially if it is not presented as an attack on religion but is simply an honest expression of the other person’s understanding of faith. Even if it is against one’s religious faith, he should not say, “Be quiet and shut your mouth.” Because if one silences questions there will not be a clarification of that person’s religious understanding. In fact, such a person should be encouraged to speak and fully express how he feels. If sincere questions are silenced that is indicative that the religion is weak and needs to be protected from inquiry. This attitude is the opposite of what some people think. They mistakenly think that silencing questions strengthens religious faith. In fact, however, suppressing of dissent and questions indicates a weak religion. Thus, we find with our ancestors that even if they found something in books against religion they would not simply reject it. (In Daniel Eidensohn, Dass Torah)

rabbis who want to dominate their students

Maharik (12:62) There are some rabbis who want to dominate their students more than is appropriate and they assert that whoever has been a student even as a child is forever subordinate to them and can never disagree with them on any issue. They claim that this is true even if the student has become their equal or even their superior in learning because they assert that even if the rabbi has clearly erred or behaves incorrectly, that disagreeing with the rabbi is the same as contradicting G-d or other such claims. The answer to this is that even if the student is forever subordinate to his teacher as the rabbis assert, nevertheless it is quite obvious that this is only in relationship to honoring him by standing up for him. However, concerning matters of Heaven, eg. Chillul Hashem, there is no requirement to honor his teacher. This can readily be seen in the many examples in the Gemara such as the events with Rabban Gamliel (Berachos 26b)