settle!

 I figured out fairly early that the yeshiva world was not for me. Actually, I deemed it unhealthy for anybody, but that's their business. The problem was sex. The Modern Orthodox world is a world for women. Over there, every breath that's not for Zionism is for Feminism. Women are catered to on every level. It's not just the obsession with what they call agunas, which 95% of the time are women who throw their husbands out of their houses for ridiculous reasons, it's nice fulfilling careers for women while the men go out and make money and obsess over money, it's lowering modesty standards in every way they can, it's young women sleeping until noon and married women getting maids and big houses, it's husbands quitting their jobs so their wives can go to graduate school for theater (I know an actual case like this). It's husbands moving an hour from their workplace so their wives can live across from graduate school (I know a case like this.) The Modern Orthodox world is not a safe place for any man with religious aspirations or commitment to halacha. But the Yeshiva world isn't a safe place for any man with creativity, individuality, or religious yearnings because it's a concentration camp. Makes you want to live in the forest. But you need sex, and the Torah is very strict about how you get it. So back into these horror shows you must go and figure out a way of finding one woman who doesn't tear your life to shreds. It ain't easy. You go back into those Yeshivish shuls and the rabbis crush your mind and your self-esteem. It's brutal. You go back into the MO world and drown in the secularity and focus on the welfare of women. Either way, you lose yourself. But I'll give you a tip, don't be picky. If you find a decent hearted girl who you are marginally attracted to, don't let her go. They all become homely after fifty anyway and not so great after 40. Don't worry how many kids she can have. Don't worry about how charming she is or isn't. If she's a decent hearted shomer mitzvos woman who doesn't hate men and doesn't see the Torah as patriarchal, hold on to her. If you are a BT, particularly if you are a Cohen, settle!