Shiduch Lists

I keep hearing people bemoaning the lists of names that some bochurim have vis a vis shiduchim. It seems that many of the young women have lists of their own, lists of requirements. They are long lists of difficult demands for twenty-year old boys who have never step foot outside of yeshiva. Many of the demands are pretty close to contradictory: humble yet confident, learned and kadosh yet worldly, serious yet funny. The length of the lists are shocking enough. What's even more shocking are the many occasions where the shadchan serves up the order as requested and still the girl doesn't want to continue. She didn't feel a connection after two very formal encounters in a hotel lobby. I recently arranged several shiduchim in a row that ended this way. I used to think that the community did not exert enough effort in arranging shiduchim. I'm starting to wonder if we exert too much, giving the singles too many choices. Many of them are spoiled, as the old saying goes. It's like offering children a dozen choices of breakfast cereal. They can't choose. Surely, there's an even better brand out there - maybe one with chocolate on top! That's the mindset of many people today and it is one of the primary causes of the alleged 'shiduch crisis.'