George Carlin: You need something to live for.
Seems obvious no? I felt that being frum had taken that away from me. I was told why I should live and I felt nothing towards that? I should live to study Gemara? That didn't work for me as I really didn't know how to do it and yeshiva didn't help that at all. Live to serve God? To be a slave? I don't want to do that as the God that had been presented to me was a tyrant. Nobody told me He loved me. Just that He loved to punish. The rabbis projected their bullying onto God. The world was bad, non-religious Jews were bad, baal habatim were acceptable if they gave all their money to yeshivas. That was the picture I saw. So I was left with nothing to live for. And that is dangerous.
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