What we didn't do in frum dating

Shiduchim was a nightmare, but not just because of the disappointments, discomfort, and work. Maybe the worst part was how mercenary it was and how it made me. In the good old days, I met people and we got to know each other and felt an excitement as we did so. I didn't grade people based on their family or their fertility. I didn't worry about their age. I didn't grade them on their looks. Frum dating  turns people into a cut of meat. The one thing we didn't do was get to know each other. Everything was an exam. Do you have a chavrusa? Do you have a rav? 

How about just seeing if you like the person? We didn't do that.